Disturbing Occurances...

Just after the New Year, I made a discovery that was a mixture of being depressed, grossed out and completely bewildered! My first love, childhood friend, playmate, was getting married. He proposed to his girlfriend over the holidays. Apparently even asked her mother (her father passed away last year, thats how they became closer) for her permission to marry her daughter.

Normally, this would just inflict feelings of sadness, what-ifs and a deep, deep feeling of loss. The disgust and disdain comes from this fact: his beautiful bride-to-be? His first cousin. Yup, that's right.

Now, I am not going to knock the whole "You can't help who you are attracted to…" jazz, because you can't. Honestly. The part that really gets at me though? You DON'T fucking ACT on it! Jesus Christ. Finding someone attractive, pretty, handsome, good looking (you see where this is going)…that’s human nature. First cousins, that is still a little too closely related for me! Yes, I know its not your sibling, but you still share what, 25-50% same genes? Show me where all the dilution is???

6 billion people on this earth. Lets go to your aunt Martha's and see what cousin Peggy-Sue is doing. Just combing her hair? Ah shucks, she prime ripe for picking, aka shove your nasty cock in her dirty cunt.

Wedding is this August *Shudder* - Can't WAIT to see what the kids look like (Complete sarcasm!)… One of my first impressions: Hmm, she knocked up already? (Note: I do not actually know if this is to be fact or not)

He wouldn't even fuck me when I was home 6 years ago. But apparently has no qualm about sticking it to his blood and flesh.

Oh, maybe I should mention our families are related too….6 TIMES REMOVED!!!

*Gag* Rant over. Thank you.

I can't see my "WhooHoo"...

I should start off by saying that I am pretty much shameless. i am the type of person at the BBQ, or party, hell, even at work, who will say things without always thinking first.

So with that said - I cannot see my "WhooHoo". Now, normally, this is a statement from a guy. His "WhooHoo" being his little member. I do not have a ding-a-ling, but nevertheless, my "WhooHoo" is in hiding. Not that I cannot "find" it at all! It's just...harder...and more cushioned.

I do have a plan. I will get my "WhooHoo" back! With eating better. Walking lots. And lots. With weights in my hands. I am determined! I miss my WHOOHOO!!! And I feel pretty confident that she misses me. Not too mention we both haven't seen any real action (sure a little bit of fun, but that was VERY rare), and I want to change that soon too...So we have to be in tip-top shape!!!!!

I'll keep ya posted on how the adventure goes!!!

Peachy Goodness

I am loving this. Living life like it should be lived. I am in the backyard, enjoying a drink (Wild Peach vodka cooler), pooch nearby (sniffing said drink), catching some rays!

I am also ferret-sitting, yup, you heard me! I would post some over-the-top adorable pics if my Blackberry wasn't being such a douche. For some reason, it no longer allows me the option to upload pics from it to my Facebook account. Meaning I will have to attached the Blackberry to the computer via USB cord (which I am sure will suddenly have disappeared from this realm). Pain in the ass.

But I will try for some later, maybe if I can locate said USB cord.


I am also contemplating mowing the grass...again...Yup, it would be MY fourth time. Bloody shit grows faster than the hairs under my armpits! I know, I know, not such a worldly description. Suck it up.

I am trying to remain all Zen and 'Meh' like, seeing as my original plans for the weekend went down the crapper. C'est la vie, non? Not much I can do against a car that won't start. Chloe is laying in the beautiful, green grass, making me realize that yes, it has grown quite a bit since I mowed it last - umm - Monday? No, Tuesday? Memory is MIA. Waiting for that next sip of alcohol.

And to that - I bid you ado - G'day!

The longing...it hurts...

Wanting what one cannot have – am internal battle of epic proportions and one that just about every human being experiences, at least once in his or her life.

It's that tingly feeling in the "pit of your stomach". Actually, its felt even lower than your stomach (most people actually do no realize how high up their stomach is).

The daydreams, of the "could be's…", the "maybes …" and of course the "what ifs…".

And until those daydreams are fulfilled, or otherwise forgotten about, one subjects themselves continuously to this "self-torture".

*sigh*

Under other news, went for a nice, unexpectantly loooooong walk last night. With 5lb weights in each hand. Was not so fun. But feels good. Like I am actually trying.

I want to date.

That is all for now.

Just because it is so awesome!

Locked out - true story

I have to start with first saying that I live in a three apartment house. It is 2-storeys, apartment above (friends M & V live there), main level is us and basement apartment has three people.

Now, I really do not usually forget my keys. I can probably count on one hand the number of times I have locked myself out of my house. But I used a new purse (thanks M!) on the weekend and when transferring things back to my regular work/day purse, I somehow over looked my keys, handy little things that they are.

So, today, Monday (of course it has to be the Monday), May 30th, 2011, I return home to realize that I do not have my keys. Chloe sees me from the window and as I come to the front door, she, persumably, ambles her way to the kitchen doorway with PuPPy, waiting for my entrance (It never came, poor thing had to come back to the window to see what was wrong...). Normally, M is home by now. Of course, no car in the driveway. So I call her.

Turns out she is walking home from Sheppard Avenue West and Allen Road. Believe me, this is quite a distance to walk, and today was nice and toasty. Poor thing was dying. Anyhow, she had dropped off her car at the mechanics. When I said I couldn't get in, she laughed. "Yea, guess what, I left my house keys in the car. The car I just left at the mechanics." Well, this was turning out to be a wonderful afternoon.

V was due home, soon. But there was a wait. Thankfully, I could get into the foyer, where I could relax in air conditioning. Chloe whined. Damn, I knew I should have taught her how to unlock doors! M walked through the door seconds before V showed up. He walks in, takes in the scene, turns to me, "You too?! No keys?" *Shakes head* We can only just laugh.

So, V lets me in, crisis averted. All things considered, it could have been worst. Could have been raining, storming, freezing, stuck outside the foyer, and unable to reach anyone for more than 30 minutes. At the very least, I luckily did not have a bathroom emergency.

Now THAT would have been a crisis.

Where are my keys now? Safely tucked into my purse.

Where, oh, where did my little bottle go...

The missing 800mL – with red (raspberry) flavoured water – bottle. Had it in my hands just after 3am Sunday morning (Saturday night? When does one stop being and the other start when referencing?), then – nothing. To be fair, the importance of its missing in action should be written from the beginning.

It all started with me picking up those individual flavour packets you can buy to put in your bottles of water to give it some taste. One flavour being raspberry, very yum. So I took an 800mL water bottle and created my red liquid fever. It was surprisingly very tasty.

Now, I had plans to spend the evening with Scribe. She was due around 3pm, and when she arrived I just left my yummy concoction on my grooming table (more about that later), next to the door. I left and went out and about with my Scribe.

Description of the afternoon/evening/night:

1. Scribe came and picked me up around 3pm. She had brought me an Iced Cap! (She loves me). We proceeded back to her place, with a pit stop of Rotten Ronnie's along the way. She was expecting a repairman to show (cable/internet – sucks when you don't have either!), and someone was suppose to show up to see a room that Scribe is renting out of her house. (Let's just say that the repairman showed, prospect roomie a no-show. Not impressed as she continually called over the past couple days and kept Scribe waiting and wondering. Saturday evening, we were not holding our breathe!)

2. Scribe paints. She is really good too. Guess art classes do pay off! We have talked about painting together for well over a year now and Saturday afternoon was finally going to happen! She had a recycled canvas for me to use (and keep), and I decided I wanted to keep with my journey to being and living a Zen lifestyle. I chose circles because they are not harsh with straight lines or corners and I chose blues and greens (with a touch of lavender purple) to promote a happy, calm, serene kind of feel. It turned out pretty good actually J

3. Chloe (my golden retriever) needed new food dishes (ants took over the last one) and I was looking to getting something that was more raised off the ground anyhow. PetSmart closes at 9pm Saturday nights, so just after 8pm, off we went! I found a dish set that was raised off the ground and was on sale ($29.99 regular, on sale for $20.99!!) Right next door (literally, they share a wall) was a Michael's…yup, the craft store. We were in heaven. But we literally had only minutes as we spent a lot of time in PetSmart playing with the fuzzy, furry kittens! Canvases were on sale for 50% off, Scribe was looking for a new one, a large one, and decided to grab one (guessing at 50% off the price would be roughly $10-$12 or so?) and then the announcement came over the PA announcing the store would be closing in 2 minutes. Scribe was just walking up to the cash as I made an excellent discovery in the clearance bin (I LOVE those things!!!) – a TWO canvas bundle for $3.75….$3.75!!!!!! For TWO!!!! The catch? The top canvas had the slightest scratch (easily covered when painted). We nabbed it!

4. Back at Scribe's house, we changed and got ready to go out. Our poison? Karaoke! Haven't done that in God knows when! I was pretty nervous to get up to sing too, but we sang Sweet Dreams by the Eurhythmics (LOVE that song), and when the music started, the whole bar went up in applauses. We killed it! (In a good way) – we actually make a pretty good singing pair J Now, I should mention that I bought myself one single rum & coke, 2 double rum & cokes, Scribe bought me a single and a very nice man, D we shall call him, bought me 2 J I was toasty. Ah, let's face it, I could still walk, but I was definitely drunk! I am a very happy, chatty drunk though J So it was all good.

5. Scribe drove me home. I had to pee like I was a fire hose. It was pretty bad! But anyways, now we are back to the time of the Water Bottle Mystery. It's approximately 3 o'clock in the morning. Scribe leaves (after a panicked rush back outside on my behalf to grab my painting and Chloe's new food dishes that I had left in the backseat of her car). I go into the house, I grab the drink off of my grooming table (where I had left it) and took a sip. I conclude it needs more water. Water added I proceed to… where, bedroom? Living room? I can't recall the next day, or now for that matter. Whatever the case, I leave it somewhere and forget about it. The next morning, though, I am remembering everything I have just typed, except for the location. A thorough search produces nothing. Help from my cousin, nothing. Its literally as if it has vanished into thin air. "But it couldn't have," I conclude, "How does a big ass water bottle with red water in it just go missing?"

To this moment, the case is still open. Very open. Its not even my water bottle! But I am determined to be reunited with it. As for the time being? Guess I shall purchase a new one, which I am sure that as soon as the purchase is complete, the missing Water Bottle will resurface, back from whatever dimension sucked it in…